Piece of MInd

Love like you’ll never get a second chance...you just might not

2010-03-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life sneaks up on you and really bites you in the butt (insert any word you want there; I chose a relatively non offensive word since this is for the masses). Let me rephrase that statement, sometimes our neglect of life and loved ones sneaks up on us and RIPS YOUR HEART OUT!

One day you wake up and realize that who you have been and what you have done has devastated the people you care about most. What do you do with that. Well...i’ll tell you what I’ve done. I’ve put myself at the mercy of God’s discipline and correction. I’m allowing God to search me and reveal all the nasty things that are within my heart that I’ve pushed under the rug of “I look like a good person, therefore I am”. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not been some horrible Jeckle and Hyde character...though I guess in some ways I have. It’s not like I’ve been intentionally lying about who I am or what I do, I’ve just had some deep seated emotional barriers that have prevented me to getting to the core of what it means to be in Love with God and others...Love it self.

For far too long, I’ve not allowed myself to be loved or love those that are closest to me and that has wrecked or at least crippled most of the relationships in my life. This is way more personal than I ever planned to get on this blog, but I feel that people need to hear this cause I think so many people struggle with this incredibly debilitating flaw.

Back to the letting God search me. It’s so funny how we sugar coat things with God and even to ourselves. We tell God and ourself that we don’t have a problem with this or that and that everything’ okay and normal...WHO ARE WE TRYING TO FOOL!!! That kind of mentality only prolongs the suffering of others and the lack of joy in our own lives, not to mention possible losing the things and people who are the most dear to you. Through this searching and growing with God I’ve been stretched in ways I never knew possible in my faith and hope. Growing is SO hard and SO painful. But if it weren’t...would we really be growing?

Nothing teaches you like life experience...it seems to make the scripture really come to life. If I didn’t understand before “How long till you hear my cry oh Lord and come to my rescue”, I do now!

I’ve realized that loving someone means putting your heart, soul, emotions, and all your insecurities out on the line with the possibility of being destroyed. You have to become vulnerable to truly love someone or be loved by someone. You would think that loving and being loved especially would come easy and I guess it does when we get rid of all the crap that hinders it like pride, SELFISHNESS (one of my personal favorites), fear of being hurt (which also comes under selfishness), past experiences that we had no control over, and so much more. But, we have to make a conscious effort to make these changes in our lives...or should I say a conscious effort to allow God to change these things in our lives. It is truly a “die daily” kind of thing. It’s not something you deal with once and say, “HEY! I’m all better now!” it’s a life long examination of the heart, but the first steps are definitely the most painful...realizing your condition. Only God can show you these things and only He can begin to heal and mold your heart into the “heart of God” that he wants you to have. Our job is to allow Him and then be obedient in whatever he asks of us....and that’s never as easy as it sounds. Let go and let God is a phrase that is thrown around so easily, but for anyone how has ever HAD to really do that knows that it is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but it is crucial to our growth as human beings and as children of the living and loving God.

1 Cor 13: 4-8, 13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

...And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the GREATEST of these is LOVE!

Do yourself a favor, don’t wait till it’s too late...LOVE like there’s NO tomorrow!

Placing it all in His hands,

Shane

This thing we call church...

2009-11-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

Do you ever get totally fed up with this thing we call church? There's a longing so strong and so deep inside me to be in a church that is all about the King! i know people try and most have the best of intentions, but we fall so drastically short of what I think church is supposed to be about. but...who am i to say what it's supposed to be?

maybe it's just that i want a version of church that fits my wants, needs, and preferences. regardless of the styles of worship, the length of the service, the attire, and all that superficial crap, i just want to be real where ever i go...you know, have real problems and real questions and issues without feeling like i'm the freak that "doesn't have a 'real' relationship with God". if my relationship with Jesus is not real then i have no ideal what a real relationship is. i know that in most relationships i'm in...i screw things up...ALOT! but, that doesn't make that relationship less real or meaningless.

why does this burn inside my heart so much even as i write this? i know why, cause my soul is crying out for Jesus in a way that only He can satisfy. no program, fancy stage set, or seamless production can ever quench that desire; only real communion with a real God and real followers of God who are willing to put away religious pious attitudes and start actually "caring about people" because they are people and not just a number to add to their bulletin board or impress with their "relevant" marketing. By the way, don't we have enough marketing thrown in our face. Jesus said, "Lift me up and i will draw all people to me". what part of that do we forget, or do we just think it's not totally true and that God needs our help in marketing what he did on the cross! Don't get me wrong, i have nothing wrong with finding ways to make church look enticing for non believers, but too often, once the novelty of the coolness wears off...there's nothing but empty words and false compassion ready to look down on you as soon as you don't look like what they expect you to look like.

i know i'm ranting here and i know this will probably make some people mad and ruffle a few feathers, but so be it. I love the church and i love the God that it points to...when it's actually doing that. you see, i'm totally between a rock and a hard place. i love to sing songs about and praises to my God, but sometimes i detest the place in which i have to go to do it. there are so many guidelines and certain unwritten laws that i know i have to conform to when i enter these places. it's not that i'm some sinner bound from hell wrapped in some facade...but i just feel that if i ever really shared about my struggles or problems i would be looked at as the weirdo that needs to "get his life right" when in fact everyone there would be in the same boat if the truth be told. that's what we have to get back to, a church (body of believers) who trust, love, care, and support one another through ANYTHING! that would be the best marketing tool anyone could ever conceive. that would be living out our faith and not just talking about what it does and doesn't mean to be in love with Jesus Christ.

having said all this, i know i present problems with no solutions and that i'm just as much of the problem as anyone else in the hypocritical thing called church. But after all isn't that the point, that we can be hypocrites and still be the church of the one true God...i mean we are human and we don't have it all together all the time or most of the time for that matter. but, there truly is an answer, and at the risk of sounding completely cliche, the answer is Jesus Christ the Son of God. if we just keep our focus on Him and Him alone and lift Him up and these other things will work themselves out. however, i can promise you it won't be easy or painless. in this situation, the end doesn't justify the means...it's all about the means

Be a blessing,
shane

Post Numero Uno

2009-09-15T10:01:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,
thanks for taking time out of your crazy life to read about mine for a few minutes. i decided to start a blog cause i'm getting really tired of trying to saying anything of substance in 140 characters! Which is now kind of odd, considering that i have not, and will not, say anything of any real substance in this post. However, i will say, please forgive me for any screw ups or improper "blog etiquette", I'M NEW AT THIS OK :)

anyway, i guess that will suffice in saying "hi" and "i have a new blogspot", so stay tuned for some really profound blogs...that means "to ramble" right?..what? really? what?...

peace,
shane